If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
 by: Lynella Grant

Banish Loans Forever

If ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the very first thing to get rid of would be loans. Absolutely no more loans!

Because once theyre gone, there wouldnt be any more:

• Due dates
• Interest charges - at any rate of interest
• Late fees or penalties
• Liens
• Applications or rejections
• Credit reports [Old joke - If it werent for bad credit, I wouldnt have any credit at all]
• Playing catch-up month after month

And that means all the related emotional frustrations vanish as well. That would certainly make a lot of people happier. Dont you think?

Instead of lending money, how about just giving it away? That should make everyone happier still.

Imagine a bank saying, "Help yourself - and never worry about paying it back." If it doesnt matter whether money ever gets repaid - there goes accounting and bookkeeping. There goes financial records. There goes debt - along with bad debt. But thats not a stretch for a bank that re-writes the rules. If you thought familiar bank policies were cast in stone, think again.

Up with Emotional Solvency - Down with Debt

A whimsical bank that just started on the Internet eliminates debt and loans. Wont touch um. No way, for nobody. Thats because it rates a persons emotional health higher than their financial wealth.

This quirky website places more value on emotional solvency than wealth accumulation. Huh? Hows that possible? Its the logical (illogical, more like it) outcome of putting feelings first. And its other policies are equally unprecedented and unique. http://www.joyfulbanker.com/goofypoliciesdept.html

The Joyful Banker is a parody of all things financial. It just wants to make you happy - and it wants to keep money worries at bay (even if only for a little while). It exists solely to amuse and delight. To make people feel both generous and rich - with access to unlimited money (admittedly funny munny). This site delivers a high level of frivel (wordplay), giggle, and absurdity in the process.

People are More Valuable than Money... Really

Joyful Bankers avowed purpose is to deliver joy and up-beat energy to all comers. But it cant pull it off without putting money in its rightful place - which isnt first place. Or even second. This is the only bank on the planet devoted to whats really valuable - relationships, generosity, kindness and joy.

Joyful Banker is the Mother Lode of Binkle Lore and Wisdom

A binkle is the energy thats created when people really connect with each other, with nature, or anything that inspires. Its the zizz of energy one feels. Although the word is new that feeling is not. Its been part of every profound or happy experience you can remember. That sensation is always called something else: love, awe, the thrill, peace, inspiration, etc. But the energy of that moment is binkle energy.

This joyous website is devoted to increasing binkle energy in any way possible http://www.joyfulbanker.com/binklepage.html Its not hard to find binkles showing up anywhere - if youre looking for them. Cant have too many. But if you run low, just come beck to fetch some more.

Probably should warn you - its addictive. The zizz of binkle energy keeps you constantly alert for how to get more more. And if you cant find any... thats a downer. But a moment of caring and sharing is sure to get them flowing.

The Binkle Standard Simplifies Your Life

1. Spend MORE of your time and attention with people (or activities) that give binkles
2. Spend LESS time and attention on people (or activities) that drain binkle energy
3. Pass it around! Leave a trail of binkles wherever you go

Thats it! But the rewards you feel cannot be exaggerated. Playing "spot the binkle" sure beats a Do List when it comes to banishing stress. Not to mention, it attracts some pretty nice people.

There are still a few bugs being worked out. The funny munny is just for fun. Not to knock fun, but you cant use joy bucks to pay the phone bill.

Come to the Joyful Banker for Binkles and Joy

Anyone who comes to the website has an account (their email address), so can partake in the Unlimited Withdrawals or Open Vault policies. This is one financial institution that wont leave you empty handed. Or empty hearted, either.

© 2005, Lynella Grant

This is Part 1 of a 5-part series.

Read the rest http://www.joyfulbanker.com/articles.html

About The Author Lynella Grant - The Joyful Banker, a parody of all things financial http://www.joyfulbanker.com The funnest, most joyous fool service non-bank in the world. With unlimited withdrawals. Off the Page Press (719) 395-9450 mailto:banker@joyfulbanker.com grant@joyfulbanker.com

This article was posted on April 13, 2005